The Sub-Committee For Shitty Ideas

2012-01-06T05:40:00.002-05:00

Who do they think they're fooling?

2011-08-04T04:55:00.002-04:00

This is what passes for news

2010-09-15T12:04:00.003-04:00

Photographed right off my friends TV last week. WHAT. THE. FUCK. It's not like we've got people offing each other in record numbers or anything...HIPSTERS! They MUST be the problem.

Shitty Idea.

Lindsay goes dam sliding...part 1

2010-08-02T03:44:00.005-04:00

Some might say that the whole idea of dam sliding should be subject to review under this sub-committee, but for those that can look past the obvious danger and stupidity and see the underlying child-like dirty playtime, you understand that sometimes the shittiest ideas are the most fun...and sometimes it's the person doing the activity that makes it a shitty idea (in this case...Lindsay and the dam).

So Lindsay has been dam sliding before. 2 summers ago. Shes on youtube.

EXHIBIT A:

So as you can plainly see, she shouldn't need more than a little motivational push to have a little fun. SHOULDNT. However, THIS was the scene at the dam for our return trip yesterday. (I haven't finished editing the rest of her nonsense, so hopefully this will hold you all over until I finish)

EXHIBIT B:

(SHITTY IDEA? OHHHHHH YEAH.)

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Giving Evil Julia a metal whistle

2010-07-20T15:16:00.004-04:00

probably my shittiest ideas to date. Evil Julia wanted to help me ref my annual sporting event "Color War," and while she really didn't do much, i DID give here a whistle. BAD IDEA. She felt the need to blow that thing all afternoon at inopportune times. Counting down to start dodgeball? She blows the whistle early. Everything's going great? She blows the whistle and everyone stops. Sleeping in a tent? You guessed it. Evil Julia and her fucking whistle. Everyone's hanging out partying? Julia spices it up with the whistle, scaring the shit out of everyone.

Despite all this, if I had to do it over again, I'd probably give her 2 whistles. She kept me on my toes. Did she make life slightly difficult? Sure, but at least she dressed the part. (Pictures to follow).

That's right, I gave THIS person a whistle.

Shitty Idea? AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY.

Dog parks inside the lines

2010-05-26T19:38:00.003-04:00

I don't think I even need to say what a retarded idea it is to let any breed other than a Jack Russell Terrier drive. MAYYYYBE a poodle if you're in a pinch, but that's really pushing it. I suppose this guy learned in dog-jail (c'mon, he looks like the rough type)...or something.

Howdy Handsome Internet Stranger!

2010-05-23T05:27:00.003-04:00

Hi guys! Nope, not dead, not in Mexico, not a fugitive (though recently a family member of mine could have been considered any of those options, more on that another time) just had a busy month.

...............................2 hours later

Ok I put this down to take my camera for a run and get some shots of stupid shit during my final week in philly. It started raining before I got to my destination, so the pics I had in mind will just have to wait.

I ought to have something decent to share a few hours from now after some packing and a nap.

-B

Eau De Sliders

2010-05-04T01:36:00.006-04:00

I would have had a link for this super legit shitty idea, but for some reason this item became unavailable to purchase while it sat in an idle tab on my browser this afternoon! I wonder if they
sold out of them? Could slider-scented candles be the next domestic craze? I have a hard time believing that the Suzy Homemakers' of today could be in the store with one of these in one hand, and a Yankee Candle in the other, all the while cutting her brain and thinking "is THIS what I crave?"

(thanks to $WoWWW for finding this before they sold out!)

The Virgin Mario

2010-05-03T01:56:00.003-04:00

Yet another "Freudian Slide" (as I like to call them) that turned into me deciding I needed my own artist's rendering of what, in fact, "The Virgin Mario" would look like. Is it a he? A she? A Yoshi? In an ironic twist, in this case, no matter what it is, whatever comes out of that egg will be the child of a plumber, instead of a carpenter. Ha?

Yeah, I need sleep.

It's a Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad Pool

2010-05-02T19:36:00.004-04:00

This thing is for kids? Sure is! Meet "Blooper," who I've named as such because this appears to have been either some cruel joke or design oversight. What a depressing looking toy...and it only makes things worse when you attach the hose and it spurts water from its fat blue lips, not unlike some drowning victim. Erin was kind enough to volunteer to dive into the belly of the beast (actually, she's the only one who would fit):

This thing seriously looks a little, off, right? I can't be the only one who thinks that the design of at least the eyes (stoned? tired? suicidal?) could have taken a second look before sending out for mass production. There's already enough depressed cartoon characters, we don't need a depressed kiddie pool too.

Shitty Idea: Confirmed.

The names have been changed to protect the guilty

2010-05-02T03:38:00.009-04:00

So I get this text this evening from a buddy of mine (We'll call him "Al") saying:

"I just let [spun assailant] take a duct tape wiffel ball bat to my abs."

I asked for a photo, but none was available...since I obviously can't leave you with NOTHING to look at here, I've made my own artist's rendering of what this probably looked like. Using highly classified face-reorganization technology, the portrayal below should look nothing like the actual subject in question:

SUCCESS! I'm amazed Al lived after getting attacked with a duct tape wiffel ball ginsu knife bat...those are almost as dangerous as a PooStick! (But that's a story for another time)

Baby Hitler

2010-05-01T20:20:00.003-04:00

WHAT. THE. FUCK. There are more of them.

Upon further research from my original post about this, it appears to be quite the widespread trend. WHY do people like to dress their child up as Hitler? It baffles me. For one, I've seen parents try to clothe their children in REGULAR clothes and it looks difficult enough without making sure their sash or swastika armband stays on. Secondly, this is something in such poor taste it actually offends ME...and I say some awful things. The thing that is MOST fucked up is that since I highly doubt "Baby Hitler" is a popular buy down at the costume shop, most of the wardrobers here are going out of their way to make their own...a little different from just reusing that Hamburgler costume you have laying around from the last time you wanted to exert control on your unwanted spawn. (Although I don't condone dressing animals up either; I liken the experience to acts of abuse)

Shitty Idea: confirmed.

Virtual Women...SO SHITTY

2010-04-27T03:24:00.003-04:00

Ok seriously...I gave this a few tries, and while I DID ultimately succeed in baggin' this broad (in the parking lot of the beer store) she's way too fickle. Sometimes she complains you want to drink too much, but later complains she's "too sober for THAT" (daring to take her top off, buying beer nude, etc), though I suppose that's the point. What's kind of funny about this woman is she starts the game off with you just staring at her through the window like some kind of stalker:

Here's a link for the game...see how far you can get. When she's done with you she RATES you on a scale of 1-10 after getting your kiss goodnight. TIP: Take her to the park to shoot hoops and she'll flash you.

PLAY GAME HERE (Thanks to Quinn for finding this)

Atantic City Saturday

2010-04-26T02:26:00.007-04:00

For obvious reasons, I'm going to keep this post to a "short list." So many things can happen in just one evening, but this is a list of a few things I happened to take note of. Let me just say also that there is a major discrepancy between how hot the women in casinos are ON TV and how many wheelchairs and walkers you'll actually trip over whilst strolling through at 5am.

-Harasking the Showboat bartender if he knows anyone who can "keep the party going" as loudly as possible. Several times. At 9am on Sunday.

-Thinking that the sign pictured below is enough presence at the front desk of a FULL hotel (Good Job Javier!):

-Having ZERO cell service available above the first floor of a 25 floor hotel with 1300 rooms. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

-Asking me, several drinks deep at the bar, if we can go to Philly to use my microwave for cat surgery at 8am...since obviously, that's the CLOSEST possible microwave available when the hotel rooms in ATLANTIC CITY aren't equipped with one.

-Assuming when someone says they are going to sleep, they mean "Sure, I'd love to drive home after you go back out to drink 5 hours before checkout."

-SIX FUCKING DOLLARS AND FOURTY-TWO FUCKING CENTS FOR 2 MACINTOSH APPLES. I called the front desk inquiring about apples in the wee hours of the morning. I've NEVER been charged for 2 fucking apples in my life at a hotel...let alone at a FUCKING CASINO where they give away booze by the bucketful. And let's face it, if you ask for apples, NO ONE wants a goddamn macintosh.

-Smoking a cigarette in a hallway under a smoke detector and acting surprised when Javier comes up, asks what you are doing, and tells you "Don't you hear that beeping? You are setting the alarms off." (I felt really stupid about this, especially since I'd asked if anyone else heard the noise that sounded like "a digital chicken")

Aside from all that, AC was a fucking blast.

Couch 1, Bill 0

2010-04-24T12:55:00.004-04:00

He went to sleep on the couch. 6 hours and several loud bumps in the night later, Hurricane Bill managed to writhe his way onto couch cushions. How he got them under himself is a mystery though, kind of like that move where you pull your underpants off without taking your pants off first.

The Electric Shower

2010-04-23T13:15:00.004-04:00

Suffice it to say, whoever rigged this up is a Darwin Awards nominee for sure. I can only hope this photo was taken right after the moron who was laying dead from electrocution was removed from the scene.

more shitty ideas put into action here

owning rodent dogs: awful, awful idea.

2010-04-22T20:00:00.005-04:00

this one obviously knew what a disgusting horror he was to his owner, and tried to end things on his own. a male model happened to be passing by, and thought otherwise, stripping down before diving in and ruining an otherwise awesome rodent suicide.

full story here

It's supposed to be ROOM TEMPERATURE!

2010-04-22T00:01:00.002-04:00

Now, I suppose they ARE foreigners and don't know any better, but as both a boxed wine enthusiast AND microwave user, I felt obligated to share this shitty idea (albeit a repost from the FB group) with you. Enjoy!

Microwave Box Of Wine - Watch more Funny Videos

Welcome to the Sub-Committee!

2010-04-21T18:46:00.000-04:00

What started as a retarded joke, then a retarded facebook page, has now evolved further: a retarded blog!

I see shitty ideas in all forms every day; from the neighborhood bar aptly named "12 Steps Down," to the "Tubesteak - $2" menu option at the Art Museum hotdog cart. With any luck, this will ultimately serve as either a guide for finding hilarity in juvenile hijinx, or a list of ideas to completely avoid once you crap a few kids out sometime down the line. Either way - Enjoy!

(for those that didn't figure it out, THIS BLOG is the first shitty idea I'll share with you.)