The names have been changed to protect the guilty

So I get this text this evening from a buddy of mine (We'll call him "Al") saying:

"I just let [spun assailant] take a duct tape wiffel ball bat to my abs."

I asked for a photo, but none was available...since I obviously can't leave you with NOTHING to look at here, I've made my own artist's rendering of what this probably looked like. Using highly classified face-reorganization technology, the portrayal below should look nothing like the actual subject in question:





SUCCESS! I'm amazed Al lived after getting attacked with a duct tape wiffel ball ginsu knife bat...those are almost as dangerous as a PooStick! (But that's a story for another time)